Occasionally I will have Members ask, “Can’t I just post privately?” or “Why are we all posting here?” or “Why don’t I just message you directly on WhatsApp, FB Messenger or text?”

This community and the offer to coach you here rather than in private is for a number of reasons:

1. Begin by understanding that the ONLY people who are able to read Journals are paying Members. Please know your journals are NOT public.

2. One of the MOST POWERFUL ways you can begin to change you dating is by choosing powerful transparency and vulnerability. First off: to yourself.

   Nobody is worried about your dating more than you. The rest of the community are in this just as deep as you are and they are worried about themselves… not you.

   No one can be any more comfortable with you than you are. And if you cringe to speak truth aloud… you have to understand – no, you need to expect that your dating will not improve any better than it was in the past. Radical changes in dating begin with radical changes in ourselves, beginning with honesty, transparency and vulnerability.

   You cannot find someone who values and loves you by controlling how and when you decide to show yourself. I understand this is scary. I understand you feel uncomfortable. I understand people around you do not date like this. Indeed they do not. Which is why so many of them are unhappy about their relationships, having them for 3 weeks, or 3 months or 3 years… before they both realize they don’t really like each other.

   Let’s get that out of the way right from the beginning: Just. Be. You. Allow yourself to be as you are and practice courageous vulnerability. It will radically change your dating.

3. Many of the challenges of dating are true for most of us. By discussing these common challenges in a group we both learn from other and allow others to learn by watching us. ALL of our dating improves as we recognize and learn from the common challenges we all go through. You may see me refer you to posts in other’s threads, just as I may refer others to read through yours. We all rise together.

4. It allows us to practice being authentic and transparent. Our dating will only be as good as we are able to be authentic and transparent. Hiding who you are, being afraid to talk about your real feelings or real life ALL get in the way of you making a REAL connection with others. One of the first things that we have to do if we want better dating is REALLY show how we are and get over the fear of being the unique, maybe quirky and different person we are (or fear we are). Of COURSE you are unique – that is your light. Let it shine by practicing being authentic and vulnerable here.

5. It illustrates your journey. By posting regularly you help yourself see your dating journey as a progression – you will reinforce your realizations and discoveries; you will be able to compare your prior beliefs to your dawning knowledge and you will see your progression. Likewise, if you are stuck, you will see the repetition of the areas you are stuck in – and seeing this is incredibly valuable in helping you get past that self-defeating behavior.

6. Efficiency. Can you message me privately, one-on-one? Yes! I absolutely offer one-on-one attention. But it costs CONSIDERABLY more than your Membership here. By all clients posting here it makes it FAR easier for me to get you the attention and advice that will make a difference in your dating. Although one-on-one coaching can be much more powerful (and fast), many are not yet that serious they are willing to invest that much money into learning new powerful ways to date. By compiling all Members here, I can offer you a more affordable price and more easily stay up to date with what you are doing in your dating, more easily provide you direction and advice. That being said, when you’re ready to invest more in yourself DO as me about one-on-one coaching.

7. “But what if what I need to share is very sensitive / embarrassing / private!?” There is a feature in the Forum response field that allows you to post particularly embarrassing or sensitive information privately. If you need to post something very private or sensitive, please use the “Post Privately” button as seen in the attached photo.

Thank you for your willingness and courage to begin to make changes that sometimes feel uncomfortable. By giving yourself to the ability to learn over other’s shoulders, to read other’s journeys that may hold answers for yourself and to make the process efficient, it is easier to get you the advice and direction you need to make your dating successful!